Posted in Uncategorized, writing

Teeth

My hairline is cold with sweat. I feel the nape of my neck peeling away from the pillow as I roll onto my side, prompting a solitary bead to travel across the skin behind my ear. It settles for a moment before running its course along my trembling jawline.
I had another one. This time I was sat right there on the floor, everything seemingly normal, yet normal seemed so far from reach. The mould was still thriving in every corner, the cobwebs still clinging to the highest point of the roof. But everything was sepia-toned and distant, like an old, grainy movie. I was cross-legged, my mirror looming in front of me, the bare plaster behind it an empty reminder of everything I’d left behind. No photographs adorn these walls; the paintings we’d fallen in love with on our honeymoon are held hostage in his mother’s garage. Continue reading “Teeth”

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Posted in poetry, Uncategorized

Naïve

I thought I was in love with you. You haunted my life for five years with your words, your eyes, your hands and your tears. I was too young and too naïve to leave, too scared of loneliness, too empathetic to abandon you in your ball of depression. I covered myself up, I ignored my makeup, my friends didn’t know me anymore. I didn’t know myself.

Why did I stay?

I thought I was in love with you. You manipulated my mind, warped my beliefs and made me think I was the antagonist, I was the devil in our cat-and-mouse relationship. We’d argue until the early hours of the morning. I’d sit in the 6am rain with a cigarette and a glass of water, spitting blood onto your patio. The neighbours must have become quite concerned for the crying girl in her Calvin Klein’s.
I told my mum I’d fallen.
I told my friend it was a funny story.

Your forearm would pin my neck against the wall whilst your tear stained lips told me
how much you loved me.

You’d die without me.

Why did I stay?